A driver in Armenia with an Iranian-Armenian accent tapes traffic policemen as they pull him over for what he believes to be bogus reasons. Entertainingly audacious.

My sister, who lives in Armenia, has ripped her husband’s passoport into many pieces in front of him. Her action has nothing to do with patriotism or anarchy. She just prevented her husband from traveling to northern Europe for five days at a time when she is getting closer to having her second baby.

She had apparently overheard her husband’s friend convincing him to definitely make the trip because they could have fun with women. While my sister had been reluctant about the this business trip, hearing the conversation she knew it was not going to happen. Her husband’s response? He laughed and, well, he is not going.

Although my sister never uses words like feminism or women’s rights, she resembles a not-so-much discussed traditional feminism that exists in some, but not most, Armenian families.

This story reminded me of what I once read in Armenian-American expressionist Arshile Gorky’s biography. Here is an excerpt as posted at 16Beaver:

“Arshile Gorky’s grandmother, the widow Hamaspiur, had brought the family together to hold a vigil for her youngest son, sixteen-year-old Nishan, who had vanished several days earlier. She suspected that he had been abducted by Kurds, for he had fallen in love with a Kurdish girl whose brother took offense. . . .

Only five years earlier, her husband, Sarkis Der Marderosian, the last of a long line of Armenian apostolic priests, had been nailed to the door of the church where he served in Van
City.”

As the family prayed, there was a thud at the door. Outside, they found Nishan’s blood-drenched  body. Months of wild grief later, “to revenge herself against God,” Hamaspiur set the monastery church on fire.

The April 1, 2008 news by a newsletter from Cyprus informing about the return of an occupied Armenian quarter in Nicosia by the Turks was an April Fools Day joke. But before the newsletter confessed the joke, several online Armenian websites used the information.

On April 1 Gibrahayer sent the following e-mail to its subscribers:

Nicosia April 1, 2008 – Gibrahayer – The opening of Ledra street as agreed by President Christofias and Turkish Cypriot leader Mehmet Ali Talat has brought about prospects for fresh restructuring of the Paphos Gate, that extends a hundred meters from the Ledra street check point.

To that end the Armenian quarter at Paphos Gate – now under Turkish occupation – is being returned to the rightful owners, the Armenian community of Cyprus.

As announced a few years ago the Armenian quarter on Victoria street, comprising of The Sourp Asdvadzadzin Church, The Armenian Prelature, The Armenian Genocide Memorial, the Melikian-Ouzounian elementary school and The Armenian Kindergarten started going through major renovations, funded by the UNOPS which have taken place on quarters on both side of Nicosia.

It is expected that the Armenian quarter on Victoria street will return to our community in a better condition than before the invasion and inter-community troubles.

The following day, the newsletter sent the following e-mail:

April 2, Nicosia, 2008

Dear subscribers,
Instead of our weekly dispatch on Wednesday, we sent out Gibrahayer e-magazine yesterday, because it was April 1, and we wanted to be part of the April Fools Day “celebrations” by sharing these stories with you.

* The Ledra street may be opening today, but Victoria street is not. Nor is the Turkish occupation regime returning the Armenian quarter.

[…]
* Recently, we have all been hearing Turkish voices accepting the Armenian Genocide, but Turkish Cypriots will not be commemorating the 1915 Armenian Genocide at Buyuk Khan on April 24…. well at least this year !

These were the stories that were included in the April Fool’s Day issue and we hope you enjoyed them.

Happy April Fools Day

Gibrahayer e-magazine.

Nice joke. But…

PanArmenian.net, based in Armenia, has just issued the following breaking news:

/PanARMENIAN.Net/The opening of Ledra street in the Cypriot capital of Nicosia, as agreed by President Christofias and Turkish Cypriot leader Mehmet Ali Talat, has brought about prospects for fresh restructuring of the Paphos Gate, that extends a hundred meters from the Ledra street check point. To that end the Armenian quarterat Paphos Gate – now under Turkish occupation – is being returned to the rightful owners, the Armenian community of Cyprus.

As announced a few years ago the Armenian quarter on Victoria street, comprising of The Sourp Asdvadzadzin Church, The Armenian Prelature, The Armenian Genocide Memorial, the Melikian-Ouzounian elementary school and The Armenian Kindergarten started going through major renovations, funded by the UNOPS which have taken place on quarters on both side of Nicosia.

It is expected that the Armenian quarter on Victoria street will return to our community in a better condition than before the invasion and inter-community troubles, Gibrahayer Magazine reports.

And HyeTert, based in Turkey, has copy-pasted PanArmenian.net’s above report.

I received this from my friend Vahe:

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.
 
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read ‘$10,000 per call.’

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Europe. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.

A nun told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.
‘O.K., thank you,’ said the American.

He then traveled to Africa, Australia, ….

In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same ‘$10,000 per call’ sign under it.

The American, traveled to Armenia to see if Armenia had the same phone.

He arrived in Armenia, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read ’40 cents per call.’

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.

‘Father, I’ve traveled all over the world and I’ve seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the price was $10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?’

The priest smiled and answered, ‘You’re in Armenia now, son – it’s a local call.’

via Political Humor:

“Bill Clinton lashed out at Barack Obama yesterday, he accused him of running a fairy tale campaign. It’s a fairy tale in which a horny king tries to get his queen elected to the White House so he can go out and fornicate with maidens, and then a handsome black prince comes along and screws the whole thing up for him. So, you can see why he’s very upset.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Well, congratulations to Barack Obama, the big winner of the Democratic caucus. Stunning victory. He got 57% of the youth vote, 35% of the female vote, and 100% of Iowa’s black vote, a guy named Larry.” –Jay Leno

“Isn’t that amazing, Obama and Cheney related? Dick Cheney now has more blacks and gays in his own family than in the entire Republican Party.” –Jay Leno

“During an interview, Vice President Dick Cheney’s wife said that Vice President Cheney and Barack Obama are actually distant cousins. When Dick Cheney found out, he said, ‘I knew there was something creepy about that guy.'” –Conan O’Brien

“Senator Barack Obama was in Los Angeles last night for a huge campaign fundraiser. That shows you what a great country this is — when an African-American with a Kansas mother and a Kenyan father, who spent time growing up in Indonesia and is running for president, spending time in a state where Spanish-speaking people have elected an Austrian governor.” –Jay Leno

“Senator Hillary Clinton is back from her fact-finding trip to Iraq. She had to cut the trip short because she had to address a growing threat here at home — Barack Obama.” –Jay Leno

“Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence … and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser.” –Jay Leno

From an anonymous contributor:  

While caucusing in a small Midwestern town, some Obama supporters changed their mind.

“Clinton has more experience than Obama,” said one. “I think Clinton deserves a 3rd term.”

Another one suggested that voting for Hillary will be like killing two stones with one bird (well, democrats like birds) or something like, “Vote one, get one free.”

And someone mentioned this cartoon from Politico:

According to the Blog Readability Test the reading level of Blogian is genius. So, congratulations, if you are an avid reader of this blog. 

And, now on, you can attach the following statement to all of your outgoing e-mails:

Via Life Around Me from Bendib

Even though anti-Americanism is quite high in the Republic of Turkey, the ban of the letter “w” has nothing to do with George “W” Bush or the “w”ar in Iraq in the Middle Eastern Country.

At least one person is on trial in Turkey for using the letter “w” in a Turkish article about a Kurdish holiday, Newroz, reports Bianet from Turkey.

NowKiyasettin Aslan, the Kilis province chair of the Office Workers’ Union (BES) is on trial for using the words “Newroz” and “Kawa” in articles published in two local newspapers. The “w” does not exist in the Turkish alphabet[…]

In an article published in the local Huduteli newspaper on 20 March and entitled “May the Newroz Fire Never Go Out” and another article in the Kent newspaper on 24 March, entitled “Fire and Iron”, Aslan had written about the Newroz Festival.

Prosecutor Serkan Özkanis demanding that the Kilis Criminal Court of Peace sentence Aslan to two to six months imprisonment. The trial will begin on 27 December.

The prosecution has clear roots in the Kurdish nature of the article since “www” has been freely used in the Turkish newspapers without any problems (at least, until today). 

So add to your Turkish dictionary that not only there are no Kurds in Turkey and that the Armenian Genocide never happened, but that if you want to avoid Turkish prison you’d better stop using the letter “w.”  (And in case you thought this is new invention, recall the ban of water’s formula in the Ottoman Empire where Sultan Abdul Hamid the Second thought H₂O might mean Hamid the Second is equal to zero.)