Untold Secrets
Uncyclopedia – the stupid and funny encyclopedia – is worth browsing. I came across to it accidently, and enjoyed the entries about Armenia, Azerbaijan, Georgia and Turkey.
Saakashvili, the democratic hero of the World
Again, this is supposed to be funny so no hard feelings.
Writing about Armenia, Uncyclopedia notes:
Armenia is a huge country located in between the Black and Caspian oceans. It is huge. Huge. It is popularly regarded that Armenia is its own continent, sitting between Europe and Asia, though this notion has no “official” status. The continent on which the continents of Armenia, Europe, and Asia lie can in some contexts be called Armeneurasia.
Armenians all walk around in public with a group of 10 because mexicans will kill them.
They think they are all related to alcapone or tupac shakur
They smell like garlic and have a big enough nose to stuff bombs(armenians are terrorists)
The entry on Armenia also teaches Armenian and how to become Armenian:
Investigate Armenia, decide where you came from sucks, decide to stay (this last part, the staying decision, has a 100% likelihood of happening and is irreversible since Armenia is the place to be). If you can’t find the country (which would be strange, because Armenia is also a continent and it’s where the action is), it’ll suffice to move to Southern California.Step 2: Add ‘-ian’ (or ‘-yan’) to the end of your last name. Examples:
- Bill O’Reilly = Bill O’Reillian
- Achmed Chalabi = Achmed Chalabian
- Dick Cheney = Dick Cheneian
- Joe Kowalski = Joe Kowalskian
- John Smith = John Smithsonian (note slight twist)
- Kate Moss = Kate Mossian
- Brian Eno = Brian Enoian
- Armin Tamzarian = Armin Tamzarianian
- Ching Chong = Ching Chongian
Coming to Azerbaijan, Uncyclopedia writes that it “is a friendly country that loves company; it has frontiers with Russia and Matrioshka in the north, Georgia in the northwest, Armenia in the west, southeast, southwest, northeast and even inside and Iran in the south.” It later tells about Azerbaijan’s porn industry and the Armenian heritage.
Georgia’s entry seems to be the funniest, with a great picture of the rose revolution.
Posting the Georgian alphabet, Uncyclopedia says, “The Georgian alphabet has 2 question marks, but noone knows why..”
Coming to Turkey, we find out that “Turkey is actually a myth; no country exists with such a name.”
2 Responses to “Untold Secrets”
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Observer on 29 Jan 2007 at 4:11 am #
Thank you Blogian – I have been laughing non-stop since I read your entry and started digging into the Uncyclopedia…
artyom on 29 Jan 2007 at 9:30 am #
hillarious. the part about georgian alphabet and the armenians walking in 10 is the most hillarious.